


Don't waste your breath

by Kepto



Series: Haighoul AU's [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Friendship, Ghoul!Kageyama, Ghouls, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, haikyuu X Tokyo Ghoul, not really romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26253631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kepto/pseuds/Kepto
Summary: Kageyama is starving.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: Haighoul AU's [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907287
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	Don't waste your breath

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing fanfiction at all tbh, but I completely fell in love with this au. So bare with me if the characterizations feel off, It’ll get better next time. Feel free to send me criticism, head cannons, anything really. Also I know the conclusion is shitty I kinda ran myself into a wall and didn’t know where to go with it. But oh well. 
> 
> I also wrote a bad ending for this one, If y’all are interested I’ll post that heathenry too :/

Kageyama sighs, the day has inched by so slowly it’s almost unbearable. Maybe it has something to do with the hunger, the feeling nagging at his brain - flooding his body with adrenaline. He’d been putting it off for too long. All day his subconscious whispered.

_eat,_

  
_eat,_

  
_eat._

  
But he knew it would be fine. He’d made it through the day. He was so close, as soon as he walked home and said his goodbyes to Hinata he could go out and find some(one) to eat. He just had to make it a little while longer.

“You okay?” Snapped Kageyama out of his trance. He turned to look at Hinata beside him as they walked. “Sorry were you saying something? I wasn’t paying attention.” He responded a bit too honestly.

Hinata looked at him slightly concerned. “-oh um, I was asking if you’re okay. You look tired. Still sick?” Kageyama scratched the back of his head, pretending to be confused. “Just got a lot on my mind with Nationals and all I guess. But I’m fine.” He feels like he should say more - but can’t concentrate enough to think of anything.

“Well I’m just glad you’re back. It’s been boring without you.” Hinata pipes up. Kageyama rolls his eyes and elbows him teasingly in the ribs. He puts all his effort into not using too much force. But he’s still rusty on the threshhold of human strength. “Did you really miss me or were you just tired of being benched?” He muses.

Hinata looks insulted for a second. “I haven’t been-” He sighs, “Take a compliment for once. Not that you deserve it.”

“Dumbass” Kageyama mutters, eyes fixed on the ground in front of him. He focuses on putting one foot in front of the other - trying to keep himself from thinking of the hunger pooling low in his stomach.

He doesn’t notice Hinata trip, he just sees him face plant into the sidewalk. Like any good friend, Kageyama’s first reaction is to laugh. “Are you okay?” Comes a second later.

He kneels down to check if Hinata’s alright and regrets it immediately. Hinata sits up and cups his face with an odd grimace. “I think-“ He says wincing, Hinata looks at his hand - covered in blood. “Yeah I’m fine, my nose is bleeding but it’s not broken or anything.”

Kageyama stood up a bit too fast, he knows his reaction is cold, and uncaring - It’s not unusual. But this time he needs to put space between them. Even if he doesn't want to. If anything it’s for Hinata’s sake. “You good to walk?” Kageyama says deadpan, trying to change the conversation. He just wants to get home - for this to be over. He feels a twinge of guilt, he hates how good Hinata’s blood smells, how it makes him salivate.

Hinata nods and stands up again, Kageyama doesn’t say anything else as they start back on their way. He’s trying to push the feeling away - trying to ignore all the intrusive thoughts swimming through his mind. Before, that was possible. He could erase that familiar scent of human life that clings to Hinata’s skin from his memory. But now that was marinated in blood and seasoned in hunger. He doesn’t know if he’ll make it all the way back.

He closes his eyes and tries to tune out everything - he breathes in sharply, regaining his senses. “You should get some ice on that.” Kageyama says, trying to cut through the silence he’s created.

Hinata just nods again, tilting his head back. Kageyama is almost relieved that he’s more pressed about stopping the bleeding than continuing their conversation. Honestly he’s impressed that this is what gets Hinata to shut up for once. But at the same time he wonders if Hinata is just upset at him for getting away so fast.

Maybe Kageyama should have helped him back onto his feet. He was too scared that if he’d grabbed Hinata - he’d never let go. But regardless of cause. The resulting silence doesn’t bother him. He can focus on anything other than Hinata for now.

But it’s his subconscious rearing its head again muttering food, food, food like a mantra.  
Though now they’re farther apart - Kageyama can imagine how good Hinata’s flesh would taste in his mouth. How easy it would be to scrape away at his skin.

Instead Kageyama bites down hard on the inside of his cheek. _Teammates are friends, not food_. He reminds himself. - a terrible old joke he’d made years ago.

But - Hinata is _**not food**_.

  
**_Food_ **

  
He doesn’t do anything but keep moving forward. Kageyama wants to run away and apologize later. Maybe that would be for the best. But he doesn’t. Instead, he allows himself to side eye Hinata from time to time. Glancing greedily at his best friend.

Kageyama can hear his heartbeat pulsing in his ears. He shuts his eyes tight - feeling the familiar frigid blackness spreading across his eyes. _Not now, anytime but now._

Kageyama forces his eyes back to a normal state - taking a lot of effort to do so. “Are you doing alright?” Hinata asks again, Kageyama just nods bitterly. He doesn’t have the energy to say anything. And he doesn’t want Hinata to know how much he loathes the fact that even now, he’s still asking if he’s okay. Kageyama isn’t the one who’s hurt but Hinata is still worried for him.

But he’s hungry, oh so hungry. It clouds his brain, throws rationality out a window and dims the human side of him. He doesn’t remember how much time has passed and his stomach has been growling and moaning for the past few weeks and he doesn’t need pitying glances from his _cattle_ , his _food_ , his —

  
**_Food_ **

  
It’s just bad luck that their crossroads meet on an alleyway.

“So I guess I’ll see you to-“ Hinata starts. He doesn’t get a chance to finish that sentence. Kageyama moves quickly grabbing the collar of his shirt and roughly shoves him against a wall with a sickening thud.

He barely hears Hinata scream.

_“What the hell-“_

  
Kageyama pins him by the neck. Choking Hinata out. Maybe that was him unconsciously being less cruel - he barely processes the fear painted on Hinata’s face as he struggles against his grasp. Struggling to breath, yet he stutters out

“Kage-”

But all that goes over Kageyama’s head. He’s starved and drooling. Hinata has never looked so appetizing, and there was something so satisfying in seeing him like this. So helpless and unable to escape.

And he wants to tear him apart, he wants to feel skin and rivulets of blood fall easily under his teeth - torn asunder by molars which grin mercilessly. He wants to choke out Hinata’s last breath and feel broken bones beneath his fingertips. Scoop out his innards in a frantic haze.

He wants, he wants, he wants- nothing else to matter.

\-------------------

 _But then he’d lose Hinata_.

\-------------------

It’s selfish, he knows and it’s too late. Kageyama looks as him and feels sick, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He didn’t want Hinata, of all people, to see him as a monster.

He backs away, as far as he can pressing his back to the other wall. - hands shaking - letting Hinata down. His stomach churns and He knows he fucked up and he knows it’s too late, And Kageyama still wants to—

But he knows very well he cannot do it.

_He cannot kill him_

Kageyama stands petrified, his breath hitches in his chest. He wants to run away, he wants to pretend that what happened, hasn’t. He wants to say something, he wants to disappear.

He wants, he wants, he wants.

“I” - Kageyama stammers. Watching Hinata lean against the wall, holding his sore neck and still catching his breath. Kageyama tries to choke out an apology, it doesn’t even matter, he just needs to _**say something**_. But the words get caught in his throat. Maybe just to taunt him with that suffocating feeling - the same one that he’d forced on Hinata.

“Kageyama” Hinata starts, his voice hoarse. Kageyama doesn’t want to look at him, he heard enough in his inflection. “What _was_ that.” He sounds more mad than anything and Kageyama doesn’t blame him.

It takes him another moment to fully process what happened. Hinata inhales sharply. “You’re a, - you’re a ghoul.”

“I’m sorry-“ Kageyama finally manages. He can’t look him in the eyes. He freezes, inner turmoil enough. He wants to disappear. “I never wanted to hurt you and, and I’m sorry.” He feels like a broken record. “I wasn’t thinking, and you were bleeding - it’s been months since I.” He laughs bitterly, if only to keep himself from crying.

“You - you _were_ going to kill me.”

“You’re _going_ to eat me.” Hinata mutters, his voice cracks in his throat.

His words feel like a punch in the gut. Kageyama wants to promise he would never- but he almost just did, he knows that whatever he could say would sound hollow. Kageyama looks down at Hinata, he tries to pretend he doesn’t see how he’s shaking. He doesn’t know what would be the right thing to say. He doesn’t have the right to say something that will make everything okay - because it isn’t.

“Why are you still here?” He says finally, honestly he isn’t sure why Hinata hasn’t run away by now. “If it still means something to you, I don’t plan on doing anything.” His eyes start to sting. “I don’t think I could live with myself if I-“ Kageyama stops just short of finishing but the unspoken words hang in the air between them.

_If I hurt you_

  
“So why did you-“ Hinata can’t finish speaking either, and even if he doesn’t say it Kageyama knows it’s out of fear. He sighs, regret rushing through his veins. Time isn’t just going to rewind for his sake - Kageyama knows that he’ll forever be a monster in Hinata’s mind. He can’t take that back.

“I didn’t mean to, I never wanted you to see me like...like this” Kageyama doesn’t want to continue, but he feels like at the least Hinata deserves the full truth. This might be the last time Kageyama gets to speak to him. His voice comes off hoarse. “I just was, am - so hungry it’s been..longer than usual.” The words sound heavy and awkward to his ears.

“It wasn’t meant to be _you_.“ Kageyama hopes that sounds comforting in some sense. He doesn’t say that it was meant to be someone else, but the message is understood nonetheless.

_He knows what you do, he knows that you kill people._

  
Kageyama closes his eyes. “You were just standing right next to me and you’re bleeding” He sighs. “I’m just - ugh” he fumbles over his words in frustration. “-and you just seemed like an easy target for a second.” Kageyama feels a wave of guilt wash over him. He wants to take the word target back. Target feels final and apathetic. It feels viscerally wrong.

“Oh...” is all Hinata says.

“So what are you gonna do?” Kageyama asks, but it’s bitter. Hinata seems confused by the question - but Kageyama doesn’t give him time to respond.

“You’re going to report me, right? _Right_?” He stares at Hinata, tone getting progressively louder. “To the CCG?”

Kageyama can’t help but notice how terrified Hinata looks in that moment. He feels like that expression is going to kill him.

Maybe he was just as scared.

He felt sick, he didn’t want to die,

He didn’t want to leave Miwa alone,

  
_Just like their parents had._

  
But still, he’s leaving his fate up to Hinata.

  
“N-No, I won’t” Hinata says finally, cutting through the heavy silence.

He’s stuck, not really sure what to make of that answer. Of all things, Kageyama doesn’t want acceptance (Forgiveness?) - he knows doesn’t deserve it. Not from Hinata, not from the world. “What are you t-“

“It’s...its okay, Kageyama. I won’t report you. I won’t tell anyone.”

Kageyama feels his eyes burn with stupid tears. No way, no way. There was no way he was going to make a safe break from this. There was no way Hinata still wanted him around after this. Kageyama feels the anger rising in his chest.

“Dumbass.” He says finally. For a second, It’s all he can muster. Hinata makes a motion to move forward. “Don’t.” Kageyama warns, and for once Hinata stops. “You’re such an Idiot.” He continues. “Just leave me -”

Again, he moves without thinking. Running out of that alley, away from what just happened. Away from Hinata. He barely registers the scenery passing by. He barely hears the “Can we talk about this?” coming from behind him.


End file.
